I am 18 and I have never kissed a guy or been in a relationship?

Hi i am 18 and I just graduated high school. I have never had a boyfriend. Or a first kiss. 3 guys have tried to kiss me but I rejected them because I was to scared i might be a bad kisser :( and the reason I have never had a boyfriend idk why I have been on several dates but one of the big problems is my parents r strict. I am not allowed to go out a lot. :/ and I am not allowed to have a boyfriend. I just wanna feel loved by a guy. Me and this guy used to talk for a while but all he wanted was to get freaky and have sex. Many guys want to get freaky with me because I have a fat ***. What should I do?